Welcome

Greetings and salutations. You've stumbled across my home server. Password authentication is disabled and ports are either disabled or irregular. Please hack someone else.

ABOUT

My hobbies include football, disc golf, computers, android, firearms, photography, craft beer, and lots of other stuff.

  • I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
    - Jack Handey
  • It's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
    - Jack Handey
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
    - Jack Handey
  • If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
    - Jack Handey
  • To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
    - Jack Handey
  • Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh because what IS that thing?!
    - Jack Handey
  • I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because they'd never expect it.
    - Jack Handey
  • If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go...because man, they're gone!
    - Jack Handey
  • I hope that after I die, people will say of me: “That guy sure owed me a lot of money.”
    - Jack Handey
  • A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.
    - Jack Handey
  • If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
    - Jack Handey
  • It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
    - Jack Handey

CONTACT

just don't